I am going to know exactly what my animals are thinking. Actually, I don’t want to know that, but I am going to be able to communicate with them. So I have this thing where I feel like my animals really fucking hate me and they are secretly plotting my death. Whenever I leave the house like sometimes I will not be able to find my cat and dog in the house and then I’ll randomly open up a darkness, closet and they’ll be in there communicating and then they turn around like okay.
After we kill the fat man, you use legs and Polly’s head. I know they want me dead, so I thought I would look on the app store and see if there was any like cat and dog translator, apps and guess what there are now. Are these apps bullshit and just a waste of money? Yes, but there’s a small chance at my work, so bitch I’m going to take it now. First, I have to find my cat and I usually help people do that is by going come here.
Come on honey. You know I have to do right, smell good, oh, look who comes running over. Yes! That’S right eat an entire large fry. It’S like he thinks I got it for him. It’S like he’s like thanks, dad barbecue sauce way too nice. Okay. So now that I got in here with food, it’s time to make them learn. Oh, my god to me if I was home school, although I need to get you a different angle of this, like this, isn’t normal right like there’s something wrong like he’s emotionally eating right, we are the same okay, so you know enough eating.
How did you talk to Daddy so this first one is literally just called the cat translator. First of all, I call bullshit on all of these. I will see if it works. I don’t understand they’re all like emojis. This one just looks like the most depressed cat. In the world, so let’s give it a try. Oh my god. Wait, wait, wait! It’S working hold on okay! Let’S try another one. Okay, this one looks excited it’s working.
Oh, this is sad. He thinks he’s going to have friends and then it’s just a phone me. This one’s, like crying, no fucks literally his friend, is getting murdered and he’s walking away he’s like yeah bitch. I didn’t see shit, oh yeah, this one looks excited. You know, Gino come back, I’m excited to hang out with you. Your friend is dying Mon. Don’T act like you, don’t know me, oh, that shady bitch wait.
I refuse there’s also a microphone. This is not sponsored by this. Bitch just took two of my dollars, hello, hi. I love you Chino. Are you telling me the cat translator app doesn’t work. My friend yeah same all, this is doing is scaring my animals, and I already know how to do that. I just say: come: give daddy a hug all right, let’s go to a different house, this one’s called human to cat – it literally says don’t be mean this app is meant to be fun for you and your pets if your pets become distressed or aggressive and police, The fuck is this: going to help my cat figure out how to kill me.
You might like that. There’S different cats. This one’s name is meow MERS bitch. That’S all you could come up with app now MERS, that’s so cheesy! I can’t be right now. That’S how I sound in my head, like when I sing like in my head. That’S what I hear these are awful. What if I do them all the same time, this kitty litter, I will go outside and get hit by a car. Jean oh, come on baby. It’S like, he doesn’t even hear it.
Okay come on, come back, I’m about to talk to you baby, okay, so this one supposedly is another one where I get to record my voice and it translates it: okay, ready, cheeto, uh, hi cheeto. I love you you’re, my favorite love you. Oh it’s analyzing, it hey cheeto. Are you ready to hear my secret message? Wait. What I’m so could be? It just is go away. Is this Cheetos app wait? Oh, I think you’re supposed to record your cat’s noise.
Okay. Well, let’s try that again, you don’t say something come on, oh god, here we go. Oh yeah, okay, say something you know. I know you guys talk about me come on talk about how you want to kill me come on. Oh, I know what I can do. Okay, who’s ready to play Hunger Games come on, come on talk to each other, come on. Finally, okay, it’s analyzing it. What did she go say? I have an itch right on the top of my head care to it.
This is not real. If this was real, it would say death to the Queen. Are you serious right now? No, no more food! Until you guys talk to me, God, it’s not like an angry mother at dinner, no more food! Until you tell me about your day, how is school come on? I’M a friend, I’m a cool mom, I’m hip all right. Let’S try another app. I don’t cheat, I’m just going to hang out on the floor with you. This one is supposedly to help you train your cat.
Yeah, that’s not going to work here. We go these whistles, I mean all right. Let’S try one! It’S an ad! You like that ad cheetah. I know her. I don’t like the ad. I know give you I’ve. Seen your Instagram, you brand deal Queen our week, you blowing it what nothing’s happening. Okay, I’m going to press whistle, no bucks, I don’t know pop it. Stop it. You love daddy in pain, he’s not fucking suck. Let’S try this one smells like the last one.
Literally. Doesn’T give a fuck not fazed at all, talk to me Gino. All I want you to do is tell me how much you love me. That’S a lie. I just want you to tell me that you’re not secretly trying to kill me. So I can sleep all right. This one is a dog whistle, oh no, okay, uno! Oh wait! He’S making a small reaction. Oh nope, nevermind, ignoring me literally wishes. I didn’t live here. All right! Wait! There’S another one who supposedly this one is not audible to the human ear’he’s.
Sometimes he looks at me like. Like the same way. A target employee looks at me when I say uh. How do you have a medium come on we’re supposed to be having a conversation? Okay, I’m going to go back to the one where I record my own message talk to me. I mean I guess I could just talk to the app Haji, though how you doing do you love me just like Tommy, the real Gino you’re barking. It was that door, he thinks it’s a new owner, look how excited they get when somebody comes to the door, you know what they do.
When I come to the door, go to the other room, guys I don’t have to do it. I tried everything. I tried every single app there is, none of them are working. Let me go back to the App Store wait hold on. I found something that might actually work. Okay, so first I said like stop giving me ad Riverdale you’re cute. Well, why the fuck? Are you popping up on my cat translator? Okay, first, I’m going to take a picture come on cheeto.
Do you know, do you know I have food huh, perfect? Okay, so I’m just pictures and I’ll just record a message. I love you dad you’re, my favorite, I’m! So grateful that you adopted me, I just have to play back all right. Read it it’s probably going to want to treat okay, you know what I’m just going to stay talking to people poor guys go. That was me trying to talk to my cat and it was scary. I know I’m happy.
I can’t talk to my cat because I feel like I can lie to myself and be like. Oh, my God, look how much he loves me and when he’s trying to get away, it’s because he’s afraid to love me too much, because when it might die then he’ll lose me. You know. Oh, oh now he’s talking and scratching all right. You guys, hopefully going to try the article. If you want to see more articles of me and cheeto, I’ve been a lot of them.
I’Ve made him food, he hated it. I’Ve, given him toys, he hated those I’ll put a link to a playlist rated top description below also make sure you give this article a thumbs up. If you want me and my animals to do more articles, they would love it. That’S a new one. Alright, you guys make sure to subscribe, to my blog happen on vision, bow because we make new articles and we will see you little cats tomorrow.
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